This article was published on YOGANONYMOUS 11/20/12.
By Hally Marlino
Try as I might, I fail at meditation, but my golden-haired girl teaches me to find nuggets of zen in the most ordinary moments.
A trip to the grocery store is a pony ride and on the way home she feeds you sour cherries and throws mini-Luna bars at your head.
Ask her what a tiger says. Instead of “rawr”, my husband taught her to say, “Gwarrrrr.” As in GWAR, the heavy metal band that brought you hits like Womb with a View, Penguin Attack, and Crack for the Holidays.
Life is her carnival and she’s got a bootleg wristband to unlimited midnight Ferris wheel rides. What’s not to love? In dulcet tones, this is what she has to share about enlightening life at two years old.
1. I’m gon’ be so happy. I’m so happy. Are you happy?
Where does she find joy? Eating black olives for lunch. Showing me what the olives look like chewed up. Watching Kittens Inspired by Kittens on YouTube ten times in a row. Trying to oink, oink just as a piglet would.
2. I want to see bubber (brother). When is he home?
She is attached to her bro, but she patiently waits all day for him to hop off the yellow school bus and scoop her up for a kiss.
3. Do you have a surprise for me?
One of the studios at which I teach yoga has two big bowls of sweets near the shoe cubbyholes. One full of mints and one piled high with all the candy of your wildest rainbow-colored dreams. I fell into a bad habit. I bring her a tootsie roll each time I teach there. Now she asks for her surprise every time I walk in the door. I counter and say, “I have a surprise hug for you.” She narrows her eyes at that triflin’ and says, “Do you have gum?” But she always hugs back.
4. I want Dora. Wanna watch Dora on the iPad? Do you like Dora?
I took French class in high school and college. Now, beginning with the most elementary numbers, colors and exclamations, I appreciate what I’ve been missing in Spanish. But why does Ms. Exploradora have to yell, “Say it with me!” every times she makes a point?
5. I am a princess.
She’ll never be a hipster at this rate, copping the principessa attitude. I don’t know why she adopted this princess speak, but we’re stuck with it. At least her self-esteem is rock solid. Anything pink is a magnet to her sticky pudge hands. Between she and I, on laundry day, it looks like a giant pink zebra took a dump in front of the washing machine. La vie en rose.
6. Little by little by hook or bah crook,
I’m sucha tease and yer sucha flirt.
Once you been hurt, you been round enough.
Ah, ah, ah, ah-ah-ahhhhh. ~Radiohead
It’s a bouncy track but the lyrics are way dark. That’s life sometimes, eh? Guess we’d best work in some fluffy pop music for her listening pleasure, lest we ensure she has no friends in preschool. Lawd.
7. Don’t go to work. Let’s find a yoga pose. I do yoga. Are you yoga?
If it weren’t for my daughter, my home practice wouldn’t exist. We don’t have a heated cork floor here, but it’s free and she’s the best acro-yoga partner ever.
8. She speaks her own language.
You know the expression, “That’s a spicy meataballa.” She says, “How about a sushi? I like a spicy hummus. Can I have a macaroni?”
9. My tree (x-mas) is beautiful. Look at the beautiful lights. Noodles are green. (Needles.)
Her non-denominational rapture for the festive cancels out my natural Scrooge tendencies.
10. You don’t wanna say no. You cahhn’t say no to me. (Cahhn’t rhymes with want.)
Mostly, she gives this to her brother when he goes into emo-gamer mode and she feels like wrassling. It’s her modus operandi when she wants the contraband Crayola markers. The bright, bold and dark ones that have poisoned the white walls of our security deposit. “You don’t wanna say no” is what scored her a bag of organic lollipops from the co-op tonight. Daddy caved. For the record, organic lollipops taste like flat Fanta goddammit.
11. Cookie Monster is azul. Can I take care of him?
The big blue guy seems a little unstable. Either she wants to steal his cookies, or she’s genuinely concerned for his health. May he soldier on and enjoy his baked goods in moderation. Me like his lazy eye.
12. Soaking in her bubble bath with a stoner face she zones out and goes silent, staring into space.
Her gaze softens and she holds her arms out wide. She says, “I am music.” To my ears. If that isn’t meditation, I don’t know what is.
Dark places in my heart are broken, but on some days I’m the strongest human in the world. I seek yoga instructors who make my muscles bigger while teaching me compassion. But oh, how I’m learning, santosha (contentment) starts at home.
What do your darlings teach you about yoga and meditation? YOGANONYMOUS wants to know.
Behold, the faux Dora the Explorer action adventure movie trailer.
Photo 1: My own, Photo 2: idreaminsugar.neliuta.com